Whiskey and Revelations
May. 14th, 2009 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dani_the_girlFandom: Torchwood
Summary: When Jack comes back from his trip with the Doctor, he takes Ianto out on a date. It sets the tone for a different kind of relationship between them.
Notes: Firstly, thank you toamandr for the beta - as I said to her, I reach a point when I finish a story where I have zero perspective on it. She reassured me that this was neither too emo nor too slushy to post :) I have always found it interesting that when Jack came back, he asked Ianto out on a date. It seems like such an un-Jack like thing to do. So I wanted to explore this. This was going to be a different story with a different title once, but I like how it turned out.
"So, how about that date," Jack asks as they leave the roof of the car-park. Ianto turns weary eyes on him and even before he speaks, Jack feels guilty for suggesting it.
"Not all of us have your inexhaustible energy, Jack," Ianto replies. "I was hoping to use this version of tonight to actually get some of the sleep I missed out on the first time around." With a start, Jack realises that of course the whole team have already been up all night and are probably running on pure adrenaline. He's so time-lagged at this point that it just hadn't occurred to him.
"Right, of course," he says hastily, hoping that Ianto won't assume that he is still therefore his normal, thoughtless self. "Let me drop you back at your flat and then I'll leave you in peace."
Ianto gives him a long assessing look. "I'll be a perfect gentleman, I swear!" Jack says laughing. Ianto snorts.
"I suppose there's a first time for everything," he says with a glimmer of a smile, "but my car's here."
"No problem," Jack replies cheerfully, "I'll drive you and then walk back. Breath of fresh air will do me good." Ianto throws him a suspicious look, but takes it at face value and is tired enough that he even seems fairly happy for Jack to drive his car.
In a surprisingly short time, they're pulling up in Ianto's parking space. "So," Jack says awkwardly, "I'll see you at the Hub tomorrow." They both stand there for a moment, not quite shuffling their feet, but close to it and then Jack decides if he's going to go through with this gentleman routine, he'd better do it properly and turns to leave.
"Jack," he hears Ianto's voice call quietly. He stops and turns to see Ianto still by the car, looking almost lost. He waits. "Where are you going to go?" the question comes after a moment. He actually hasn't thought about it really, beyond the vague irritation that he can't go home himself so he says the first thing that comes to mind.
"Coffee shop with a net connection - I've got quite a bit of catching up to do."
Ianto's mouth twists and Jack curses himself for reminding Ianto of his prolonged absence but then Ianto says "Come up. You can use the laptop if you like." Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, he thinks, and follows Ianto upstairs.
When Ianto wanders into the kitchen in the morning, it is obvious that he has forgotten his offer to Jack of the previous night. His hair is adorably tousled and his cotton sleeping trousers are kind of sitting low on his hips. Jack is very tempted to throw over his good intentions and just grab him but he reminds himself firmly that he's supposed to be turning over a new leaf here. Plus Ianto never was a morning person. No sex before coffee seemed to be the general rule. Jack permits himself a long look while Ianto wanders around putting toast on and getting out the coffee beans without noticing that the pot is already full before he clears his throat.
Ianto doesn't jump through the ceiling, which is pretty impressive. Instead, he freezes for a moment before very slowly turning round to where Jack is sitting with the laptop on the kitchen table where he'd moved to enjoy the sunrise. For a moment he looks horrified, and then completely bemused. Jack's grin fades slightly as Ianto subjects him to as much concentrated scrutiny as is possible before caffeination.
"Thanks for the net access," Jack says with a glance at the laptop. "I see things have been busy. There's coffee in the pot."
Ianto seems unwilling to take his eyes off him, which would be flattering if it weren't for the expression on his face. He turns away for the minimum necessary time to retrieve a clean cup from the dishwasher and fill it from the pot and then immediately turns back to lean on the counter where he can continue to watch Jack while he drinks. Neither of them speak as Ianto slowly drinks off the coffee and turns away again to refill the cup. "So," he says, back to Jack, "last night not a dream then?"
Somewhere out there, Ianto is also on a rooftop with a stopwatch, Jack racing after them with Owen, cursing Hart's name as they break the speed limit. Somewhere else, in a parallel that can no longer be reached, Jack is hanging by his wrists in the engine room of the Valiant, recovering his consciousness in flashes of memory after being the Master's distraction for an hour or so. "No," he says firmly in reply, "not a dream."
"I see. So, who are you and what have you done with the real Jack Harkness?" Ianto must see the panic flaring in his eyes, because he smiles reassuringly. "Joke, Jack. I think it's fairly safe to assume that there's not many others in the universe that could pull off your Lazarus routine. On the other hand, the fact that you appear to have stayed over the night in my kitchen is, well, different."
"Yeah, well, it's been a while," Jack says awkwardly. "I didn't want to impose."
Ianto cocks an eyebrow questioningly but, when Jack doesn't elaborate, says "So, been having fun? We saw you on Most Wanted a couple of weeks ago. New friends?"
"Some new, some old. I'll introduce you at some point," Jack promises, wondering how Ianto and Martha would get on. They'd probably gang up on him, he thinks with an internal smile.
"So, are you going to tell us where you went?" Ianto asks in a slightly bored tone which suggests that he's pretty much assuming that the answer is no but is interested to see what excuses Jack will make this time for his secretive nature.
Jack pauses, considering his answer. This is it, the moment at which he will have to commit himself or not. He's surprised to find he's not more hesitant about it. "Well, not so much us as you, and definitely not before more coffee, but yeah."
Ianto doesn't reply to this immediately, just gives him a long look. Finally he says "Jack, you're not making it any easier to believe that you haven't been replaced by some benevolent alien, you know."
"A lot's happened since you saw me last," Jack says defensively.
"Okay," Ianto says with a sigh. He puts down his coffee mug. "I'm going to get dressed. By the time we make it over there, the Hub should be safe and we can clear up the mess Owen has undoubtedly made in the lab."
From: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
To: mjones@royal-pope.nhs.uk
So, how's it feel being back? My office hardly feels like mine any more - you can see the surface of the desk and everything. If I'd known Gwen had a head for paperwork I'd have passed it all off to her the moment she joined.
Made contact with Tom yet?
Jack
-----
From: mjones@royal-pope.nhs.uk
To: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
Busy! I'd be having more trouble if the Doctor hadn't talked my tutors into overlooking the time off. Back just when you left I don't think!
Phoned Tom up last night but haven't actually managed to introduce myself yet (don't ask). What about you? Any progress?
Martha x
-----
From: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
To: ianto.jones@torchwood.gov.uk
So, you want to pick a movie then?
Jack
-----
From: ianto.jones@torchwood.gov.uk
To: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
No offense, but if you were serious about telling me where you've been I'd rather do that first...
Failing that, I am Legend looks good and has the advantage of having Will Smith to enjoy. Or we could wait and go to see AvP next week.
Ianto
-----
From: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
To: ianto.jones@torchwood.gov.uk
Fair enough, but I insist on my right to take you to dinner first. Book us an early table somewhere and then we'll come back here after for whiskey and storytelling.
Also, I question your taste in films! If we must see something bad, at least let's not see something work related :)
Jack
-----
From: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
To: mjones@royal-pope.nhs.uk
The die is cast. Now you just get on with your end of things!
Jack
Ianto takes Jack's hand as they step onto the invisible lift after dinner. So far, they've been relaxed, casual, chatting over dinner about films, music, what's been happening in the office while Jack's been gone. As they'd got closer to the Plass though, the conversation had petered out, both of them aware that the crux of the evening is approaching. Jack steals a sidelong glance at Ianto as they descend; Ianto is looking out over the empty Hub with a faint smile, despite the mess the others have left.
"It was much tidier when you were gone, you know," he says lightly, turning towards Jack. "You seem to be a force of fundamental untidiness."
"I certainly haven't seen that much of my desk in years," Jack agrees. "It's not natural."
Ianto laughs. "You abuse that desk, Jack! I never knew it was such an antique piece until Gwen started working her way through the papers. Not even having seen it so close up," he adds with a smirk and Jack grins back.
The lift reaches the floor and they cross the Hub, climbing up the stairs to Jack's office. Inside, Ianto perches himself on the desk while Jack digs up glasses and whiskey for them, pouring out a generous measure for both of them. "To storytelling," he says, clinking his glass on Ianto's before settling himself in the chair.
Ianto gives him a long assessing look. After a moment he says "I never really thought you meant to go through with this, you know." He abandons his spot leaning against the table for one of the other chairs, pulling it up to one side so that he can easily reach his drink on the desk.
Jack sighs. "I know. But I do want to do things differently this time and that's because of some of the things that happened while I was gone." He pauses, turning it over in his mind. "You don't have to hear about it if you don't want to. I don't want it to seem like I'm putting pressure on you."
Ianto raises an eyebrow. "The mystery deepens. I'll take the risk."
"OK," Jack says, and pauses to take a long draft from his glass. "I left because the Doctor arrived here. I needed to talk to him so I hitched a ride." He describes the end of the universe, tells Ianto about Martha, Chan'tho and Professor Yana. He recounts his role in helping the rocket ship on its way to Utopia and what the Doctor had said to him while he was safely insulated in a radio-active chamber. Ianto's eyes flash with some emotion - surprise? anger? Jack's not sure - but he says nothing. Jack turns his face to his whiskey glass, watching Ianto obliquely through his eyelashes as he sets the scene, his story following the Master and Doctor back to the 20th century. When Harold Saxon's name is mentioned, Ianto's eyes flash again.
"Well," he murmurs softly, "that explains a lot."
"We're not half way through yet," Jack responds grimly. He tells Ianto about the disaster on the Valiant and the arrival of the Toclafane, about the paradox machine. It's surprisingly hard to keep his voice even, he finds. Without willing it, he is becoming immersed in his re-telling. He empties his glass with a gulp and refills, offering the bottle on to Ianto, who declines with a tiny shake of his head. He is silent now, his face grim as he watches Jack openly.
"Don't try to imagine it," Jack advises, his voice unintentionally harsh. "I never saw what happened on the ground, but Martha told me about it afterwards. It was a nightmare."
"One we woke up from," Ianto observes, a gesture taking in the room around them, by implication the whole Toclafane-free sky above them.
"Yeah," Jack acknowledges. "So they took me to the engineering deck, chained me up to keep me out of the way. The Master came down to experiment on me every few days and when he wasn't around, the guards used to use me as a way of keeping in shape. I died most days." Ianto winces. "About maybe three months in, I'm not really sure, the Master got bored, but the guards didn't seem to. I guess there wasn't much to do up there. About four months in, he came back and they dragged you in behind him."
Ianto is carefully unreactive, Jack notes. He must have been somehow expecting this, or something like it. Jack wonders if he will show any reaction to the rest of it. He'd show little enough at the time.
"They killed me in front of you. Just the normal way, kicks, punches, general trauma. When I came back, the Master offered you a choice. They could beat you each day or they could kill me. You chose you."
Ianto empties his own glass and pours another measure. His hands are steady. It must seem unreal to him, Jack thinks, like a story that happened to someone else. Ianto doesn't have the memories that make Jack's own hands want to shake as he tells this.
"I tried to get you to change your mind, but you were determined," he continues. "I asked you why." At this, Ianto's eyes shoot up to fix on his face again but he stays silent. "You said they would hurt you until you couldn't take any more and then it would be over; for me it would just go on, overloading again and again. That's all you would say about it. They were easier on you than me - I think they kept you going for about a month."
Afterwards, it had been as if he was numbed to the abuse. Perhaps it was his lack of reaction, perhaps just that the Master felt he'd achieved the maximum level of pain already, but the frequency of the attacks had lessened. He might even survive a whole week together sometimes. He finishes off the story, Martha's triumphant return and Lucy's final gesture.
There's a long silence when he's finally finished, both of them sit drinking their whiskey in silence. Finally, Ianto gets up and paces over to the window overlooking the darkened Hub.
"Was it the right decision?" he asks, back to Jack, face in shadow.
Jack empties his glass again, refills it again. "No." He pauses, turning it over. "Yes. I don't know. I don't think there was a right decision. But not many people see it like that." Most people who don't think it's fascinating, he thinks bitterly, see it as something to be poked, prodded and perhaps tried out, think it's like a get out of jail free card. An extra option for cunning plans, an easy sacrifice. A couple of minutes with your eyes closed and then up again. Even to the Doctor, disgusted as he was, it was something to be used.
"I'm not that person, Jack," Ianto says softly, still not turning around. "I've had time and space and I made my peace with it. I was ready to just be a friend, when you came back."
Jack watches his back, wondering what to say. Wondering if it will turn out that he has come back too late to have what he has discovered he wants. "You came from the same place," he says after a moment.
Ianto turns back towards him, leaning back on the glass as he watches Jack's face. He looks tense, conflicted. Hardly surprising, Jack thinks. "What didn't I know?" he asks after a moment.
For a moment, Jack is thrown by the question, but almost immediately it clicks into place. He's told Ianto why he was right, but not why he was wrong. Hoped he wouldn't need to, even though it was inevitable.
"When I was very young, I went to war," he answers, trying to tell it in as few words as possible, get it over with quickly. "I took a friend of mine with me. We were captured and they made me watch while they tortured him, trying to get at what I knew. He died, eventually. I would have changed places with him gladly." Of course, back then it would have been final.
Ianto sighs deeply and crosses over to the desk. He picks up the whiskey bottle and stands irresolute for a moment before putting it back down again. "Wait here," he says unnecessarily and walks back down to the main Hub. Jack waits as directed and wonders. If he'd had any doubts about his decision to return, to ask Ianto out this evening, he thought, the tense knot of nerves at the pit of his stomach would have settled them.
After five minutes or so, Ianto pushes open the office door again, easing in with a cup of coffee in each hand. "I think I've hit my limit for whiskey and revelations," he says and puts one cup down in front of Jack. He props himself against the desk and sips from his own mug. Jack finds he isn't sure what his next move should be. It's a long time since he's attempted anything other than seduction or camaraderie. This is not virgin territory by any means, but it's long abandoned ground and he's no longer sure of the best route. They drink their coffee in silence but it doesn't feel strained. It's more like the calm after the storm. The story has been told and they're both still standing.
After a while, Ianto puts his coffee cup on the desk and turns towards Jack. "So now what?" he asks.
"That's up to you," Jack says, adding with a smile "I still want to take you to see a movie some time."
Ianto laughs. "Just to complete the transformation. We'll go to see a film and I'll get to see the whole thing without you mauling me once and then I'll have to put you in the cells so we can run some tests."
Jack snorts a laugh of his own in response. "So what you're saying is that if I don't want to risk the tender ministrations of Torchwood Three, I'd better distract you from the main feature?"
Ianto grins. "I'll have only myself to blame. For now though, it's pretty late and I do have to be in work on time tomorrow. I should head home." He pushes himself up off the desk and picks up his jacket.
"Your boss is a stickler for that sort of thing, is he?" Jack asks, flirting almost absent-mindedly as he watches Ianto slide into the jacket. They wander out to the invisible lift together.
"I think you'll find, Captain, that Gwen likes to make an early start of a morning," Ianto says with a grin.
Jack mock shudders. The lift takes them out into the empty Plass; it's later than he'd thought and chilly with it. They step off into the night air and Ianto starts to cross the Plass towards the bus stop and then turns to look back at him.
"Thank you, Jack. I appreciate knowing."
Jack shrugs, uncomfortable now it's over. "Yeah, well," he says, "see you tomorrow, yeah?"
Ianto studies him for a long moment. "Come home with me," he says suddenly, reaching out a hand towards Jack. "The Hub can look after itself for six hours."
It's an un-looked for reward and for a moment Jack is hesitant, but for all things are different now, he knows for sure this is something he wants. "Thanks," he replies and steps out into the night to take the proffered hand.
Summary: When Jack comes back from his trip with the Doctor, he takes Ianto out on a date. It sets the tone for a different kind of relationship between them.
Notes: Firstly, thank you to
amandr for the beta - as I said to her, I reach a point when I finish a story where I have zero perspective on it. She reassured me that this was neither too emo nor too slushy to post :) I have always found it interesting that when Jack came back, he asked Ianto out on a date. It seems like such an un-Jack like thing to do. So I wanted to explore this. This was going to be a different story with a different title once, but I like how it turned out."So, how about that date," Jack asks as they leave the roof of the car-park. Ianto turns weary eyes on him and even before he speaks, Jack feels guilty for suggesting it.
"Not all of us have your inexhaustible energy, Jack," Ianto replies. "I was hoping to use this version of tonight to actually get some of the sleep I missed out on the first time around." With a start, Jack realises that of course the whole team have already been up all night and are probably running on pure adrenaline. He's so time-lagged at this point that it just hadn't occurred to him.
"Right, of course," he says hastily, hoping that Ianto won't assume that he is still therefore his normal, thoughtless self. "Let me drop you back at your flat and then I'll leave you in peace."
Ianto gives him a long assessing look. "I'll be a perfect gentleman, I swear!" Jack says laughing. Ianto snorts.
"I suppose there's a first time for everything," he says with a glimmer of a smile, "but my car's here."
"No problem," Jack replies cheerfully, "I'll drive you and then walk back. Breath of fresh air will do me good." Ianto throws him a suspicious look, but takes it at face value and is tired enough that he even seems fairly happy for Jack to drive his car.
In a surprisingly short time, they're pulling up in Ianto's parking space. "So," Jack says awkwardly, "I'll see you at the Hub tomorrow." They both stand there for a moment, not quite shuffling their feet, but close to it and then Jack decides if he's going to go through with this gentleman routine, he'd better do it properly and turns to leave.
"Jack," he hears Ianto's voice call quietly. He stops and turns to see Ianto still by the car, looking almost lost. He waits. "Where are you going to go?" the question comes after a moment. He actually hasn't thought about it really, beyond the vague irritation that he can't go home himself so he says the first thing that comes to mind.
"Coffee shop with a net connection - I've got quite a bit of catching up to do."
Ianto's mouth twists and Jack curses himself for reminding Ianto of his prolonged absence but then Ianto says "Come up. You can use the laptop if you like." Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, he thinks, and follows Ianto upstairs.
When Ianto wanders into the kitchen in the morning, it is obvious that he has forgotten his offer to Jack of the previous night. His hair is adorably tousled and his cotton sleeping trousers are kind of sitting low on his hips. Jack is very tempted to throw over his good intentions and just grab him but he reminds himself firmly that he's supposed to be turning over a new leaf here. Plus Ianto never was a morning person. No sex before coffee seemed to be the general rule. Jack permits himself a long look while Ianto wanders around putting toast on and getting out the coffee beans without noticing that the pot is already full before he clears his throat.
Ianto doesn't jump through the ceiling, which is pretty impressive. Instead, he freezes for a moment before very slowly turning round to where Jack is sitting with the laptop on the kitchen table where he'd moved to enjoy the sunrise. For a moment he looks horrified, and then completely bemused. Jack's grin fades slightly as Ianto subjects him to as much concentrated scrutiny as is possible before caffeination.
"Thanks for the net access," Jack says with a glance at the laptop. "I see things have been busy. There's coffee in the pot."
Ianto seems unwilling to take his eyes off him, which would be flattering if it weren't for the expression on his face. He turns away for the minimum necessary time to retrieve a clean cup from the dishwasher and fill it from the pot and then immediately turns back to lean on the counter where he can continue to watch Jack while he drinks. Neither of them speak as Ianto slowly drinks off the coffee and turns away again to refill the cup. "So," he says, back to Jack, "last night not a dream then?"
Somewhere out there, Ianto is also on a rooftop with a stopwatch, Jack racing after them with Owen, cursing Hart's name as they break the speed limit. Somewhere else, in a parallel that can no longer be reached, Jack is hanging by his wrists in the engine room of the Valiant, recovering his consciousness in flashes of memory after being the Master's distraction for an hour or so. "No," he says firmly in reply, "not a dream."
"I see. So, who are you and what have you done with the real Jack Harkness?" Ianto must see the panic flaring in his eyes, because he smiles reassuringly. "Joke, Jack. I think it's fairly safe to assume that there's not many others in the universe that could pull off your Lazarus routine. On the other hand, the fact that you appear to have stayed over the night in my kitchen is, well, different."
"Yeah, well, it's been a while," Jack says awkwardly. "I didn't want to impose."
Ianto cocks an eyebrow questioningly but, when Jack doesn't elaborate, says "So, been having fun? We saw you on Most Wanted a couple of weeks ago. New friends?"
"Some new, some old. I'll introduce you at some point," Jack promises, wondering how Ianto and Martha would get on. They'd probably gang up on him, he thinks with an internal smile.
"So, are you going to tell us where you went?" Ianto asks in a slightly bored tone which suggests that he's pretty much assuming that the answer is no but is interested to see what excuses Jack will make this time for his secretive nature.
Jack pauses, considering his answer. This is it, the moment at which he will have to commit himself or not. He's surprised to find he's not more hesitant about it. "Well, not so much us as you, and definitely not before more coffee, but yeah."
Ianto doesn't reply to this immediately, just gives him a long look. Finally he says "Jack, you're not making it any easier to believe that you haven't been replaced by some benevolent alien, you know."
"A lot's happened since you saw me last," Jack says defensively.
"Okay," Ianto says with a sigh. He puts down his coffee mug. "I'm going to get dressed. By the time we make it over there, the Hub should be safe and we can clear up the mess Owen has undoubtedly made in the lab."
From: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
To: mjones@royal-pope.nhs.uk
So, how's it feel being back? My office hardly feels like mine any more - you can see the surface of the desk and everything. If I'd known Gwen had a head for paperwork I'd have passed it all off to her the moment she joined.
Made contact with Tom yet?
Jack
From: mjones@royal-pope.nhs.uk
To: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
Busy! I'd be having more trouble if the Doctor hadn't talked my tutors into overlooking the time off. Back just when you left I don't think!
Phoned Tom up last night but haven't actually managed to introduce myself yet (don't ask). What about you? Any progress?
Martha x
From: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
To: ianto.jones@torchwood.gov.uk
So, you want to pick a movie then?
Jack
From: ianto.jones@torchwood.gov.uk
To: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
No offense, but if you were serious about telling me where you've been I'd rather do that first...
Failing that, I am Legend looks good and has the advantage of having Will Smith to enjoy. Or we could wait and go to see AvP next week.
Ianto
From: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
To: ianto.jones@torchwood.gov.uk
Fair enough, but I insist on my right to take you to dinner first. Book us an early table somewhere and then we'll come back here after for whiskey and storytelling.
Also, I question your taste in films! If we must see something bad, at least let's not see something work related :)
Jack
From: jack.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk
To: mjones@royal-pope.nhs.uk
The die is cast. Now you just get on with your end of things!
Jack
Ianto takes Jack's hand as they step onto the invisible lift after dinner. So far, they've been relaxed, casual, chatting over dinner about films, music, what's been happening in the office while Jack's been gone. As they'd got closer to the Plass though, the conversation had petered out, both of them aware that the crux of the evening is approaching. Jack steals a sidelong glance at Ianto as they descend; Ianto is looking out over the empty Hub with a faint smile, despite the mess the others have left.
"It was much tidier when you were gone, you know," he says lightly, turning towards Jack. "You seem to be a force of fundamental untidiness."
"I certainly haven't seen that much of my desk in years," Jack agrees. "It's not natural."
Ianto laughs. "You abuse that desk, Jack! I never knew it was such an antique piece until Gwen started working her way through the papers. Not even having seen it so close up," he adds with a smirk and Jack grins back.
The lift reaches the floor and they cross the Hub, climbing up the stairs to Jack's office. Inside, Ianto perches himself on the desk while Jack digs up glasses and whiskey for them, pouring out a generous measure for both of them. "To storytelling," he says, clinking his glass on Ianto's before settling himself in the chair.
Ianto gives him a long assessing look. After a moment he says "I never really thought you meant to go through with this, you know." He abandons his spot leaning against the table for one of the other chairs, pulling it up to one side so that he can easily reach his drink on the desk.
Jack sighs. "I know. But I do want to do things differently this time and that's because of some of the things that happened while I was gone." He pauses, turning it over in his mind. "You don't have to hear about it if you don't want to. I don't want it to seem like I'm putting pressure on you."
Ianto raises an eyebrow. "The mystery deepens. I'll take the risk."
"OK," Jack says, and pauses to take a long draft from his glass. "I left because the Doctor arrived here. I needed to talk to him so I hitched a ride." He describes the end of the universe, tells Ianto about Martha, Chan'tho and Professor Yana. He recounts his role in helping the rocket ship on its way to Utopia and what the Doctor had said to him while he was safely insulated in a radio-active chamber. Ianto's eyes flash with some emotion - surprise? anger? Jack's not sure - but he says nothing. Jack turns his face to his whiskey glass, watching Ianto obliquely through his eyelashes as he sets the scene, his story following the Master and Doctor back to the 20th century. When Harold Saxon's name is mentioned, Ianto's eyes flash again.
"Well," he murmurs softly, "that explains a lot."
"We're not half way through yet," Jack responds grimly. He tells Ianto about the disaster on the Valiant and the arrival of the Toclafane, about the paradox machine. It's surprisingly hard to keep his voice even, he finds. Without willing it, he is becoming immersed in his re-telling. He empties his glass with a gulp and refills, offering the bottle on to Ianto, who declines with a tiny shake of his head. He is silent now, his face grim as he watches Jack openly.
"Don't try to imagine it," Jack advises, his voice unintentionally harsh. "I never saw what happened on the ground, but Martha told me about it afterwards. It was a nightmare."
"One we woke up from," Ianto observes, a gesture taking in the room around them, by implication the whole Toclafane-free sky above them.
"Yeah," Jack acknowledges. "So they took me to the engineering deck, chained me up to keep me out of the way. The Master came down to experiment on me every few days and when he wasn't around, the guards used to use me as a way of keeping in shape. I died most days." Ianto winces. "About maybe three months in, I'm not really sure, the Master got bored, but the guards didn't seem to. I guess there wasn't much to do up there. About four months in, he came back and they dragged you in behind him."
Ianto is carefully unreactive, Jack notes. He must have been somehow expecting this, or something like it. Jack wonders if he will show any reaction to the rest of it. He'd show little enough at the time.
"They killed me in front of you. Just the normal way, kicks, punches, general trauma. When I came back, the Master offered you a choice. They could beat you each day or they could kill me. You chose you."
Ianto empties his own glass and pours another measure. His hands are steady. It must seem unreal to him, Jack thinks, like a story that happened to someone else. Ianto doesn't have the memories that make Jack's own hands want to shake as he tells this.
"I tried to get you to change your mind, but you were determined," he continues. "I asked you why." At this, Ianto's eyes shoot up to fix on his face again but he stays silent. "You said they would hurt you until you couldn't take any more and then it would be over; for me it would just go on, overloading again and again. That's all you would say about it. They were easier on you than me - I think they kept you going for about a month."
Afterwards, it had been as if he was numbed to the abuse. Perhaps it was his lack of reaction, perhaps just that the Master felt he'd achieved the maximum level of pain already, but the frequency of the attacks had lessened. He might even survive a whole week together sometimes. He finishes off the story, Martha's triumphant return and Lucy's final gesture.
There's a long silence when he's finally finished, both of them sit drinking their whiskey in silence. Finally, Ianto gets up and paces over to the window overlooking the darkened Hub.
"Was it the right decision?" he asks, back to Jack, face in shadow.
Jack empties his glass again, refills it again. "No." He pauses, turning it over. "Yes. I don't know. I don't think there was a right decision. But not many people see it like that." Most people who don't think it's fascinating, he thinks bitterly, see it as something to be poked, prodded and perhaps tried out, think it's like a get out of jail free card. An extra option for cunning plans, an easy sacrifice. A couple of minutes with your eyes closed and then up again. Even to the Doctor, disgusted as he was, it was something to be used.
"I'm not that person, Jack," Ianto says softly, still not turning around. "I've had time and space and I made my peace with it. I was ready to just be a friend, when you came back."
Jack watches his back, wondering what to say. Wondering if it will turn out that he has come back too late to have what he has discovered he wants. "You came from the same place," he says after a moment.
Ianto turns back towards him, leaning back on the glass as he watches Jack's face. He looks tense, conflicted. Hardly surprising, Jack thinks. "What didn't I know?" he asks after a moment.
For a moment, Jack is thrown by the question, but almost immediately it clicks into place. He's told Ianto why he was right, but not why he was wrong. Hoped he wouldn't need to, even though it was inevitable.
"When I was very young, I went to war," he answers, trying to tell it in as few words as possible, get it over with quickly. "I took a friend of mine with me. We were captured and they made me watch while they tortured him, trying to get at what I knew. He died, eventually. I would have changed places with him gladly." Of course, back then it would have been final.
Ianto sighs deeply and crosses over to the desk. He picks up the whiskey bottle and stands irresolute for a moment before putting it back down again. "Wait here," he says unnecessarily and walks back down to the main Hub. Jack waits as directed and wonders. If he'd had any doubts about his decision to return, to ask Ianto out this evening, he thought, the tense knot of nerves at the pit of his stomach would have settled them.
After five minutes or so, Ianto pushes open the office door again, easing in with a cup of coffee in each hand. "I think I've hit my limit for whiskey and revelations," he says and puts one cup down in front of Jack. He props himself against the desk and sips from his own mug. Jack finds he isn't sure what his next move should be. It's a long time since he's attempted anything other than seduction or camaraderie. This is not virgin territory by any means, but it's long abandoned ground and he's no longer sure of the best route. They drink their coffee in silence but it doesn't feel strained. It's more like the calm after the storm. The story has been told and they're both still standing.
After a while, Ianto puts his coffee cup on the desk and turns towards Jack. "So now what?" he asks.
"That's up to you," Jack says, adding with a smile "I still want to take you to see a movie some time."
Ianto laughs. "Just to complete the transformation. We'll go to see a film and I'll get to see the whole thing without you mauling me once and then I'll have to put you in the cells so we can run some tests."
Jack snorts a laugh of his own in response. "So what you're saying is that if I don't want to risk the tender ministrations of Torchwood Three, I'd better distract you from the main feature?"
Ianto grins. "I'll have only myself to blame. For now though, it's pretty late and I do have to be in work on time tomorrow. I should head home." He pushes himself up off the desk and picks up his jacket.
"Your boss is a stickler for that sort of thing, is he?" Jack asks, flirting almost absent-mindedly as he watches Ianto slide into the jacket. They wander out to the invisible lift together.
"I think you'll find, Captain, that Gwen likes to make an early start of a morning," Ianto says with a grin.
Jack mock shudders. The lift takes them out into the empty Plass; it's later than he'd thought and chilly with it. They step off into the night air and Ianto starts to cross the Plass towards the bus stop and then turns to look back at him.
"Thank you, Jack. I appreciate knowing."
Jack shrugs, uncomfortable now it's over. "Yeah, well," he says, "see you tomorrow, yeah?"
Ianto studies him for a long moment. "Come home with me," he says suddenly, reaching out a hand towards Jack. "The Hub can look after itself for six hours."
It's an un-looked for reward and for a moment Jack is hesitant, but for all things are different now, he knows for sure this is something he wants. "Thanks," he replies and steps out into the night to take the proffered hand.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 08:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-14 09:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-15 07:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-15 01:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-15 07:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-15 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-16 11:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 04:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-25 06:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-28 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-07 11:41 pm (UTC)