Show, don't tell

[dani_the_girl]

I'm trying to remind myself that in a way, the fact that I am stuck on this story is a good thing. It is a sign of my development as a writer, in that I have actually, I think, identified what the problem is with the damn thing on my own. On the other hand, I haven't figured out how to fix that problem.

Put simply, it's a text to sub-text balance thing. At the moment there's the conversation and there's a lot of subtext going on but I'm not at all convinced that the reader is in any way going to grok any of that. I find myself wanting to write a DVD commentary alongside the text which says "and at this point, he's thinking about this and that, and he's really trying to say the other without coming right out with it". This is, obviously, a bad sign. And what it means is that I need to figure out how to go back over the text and put in all the little tells that will make it clear that's what's going on. Unfortunately, knowing it doesn't make it any easier to write! I can absolutely clearly see how I would do it if I were doing it on screen, where it would involve a lot of very specific direction to do with tone of voice and direction of gaze and so on, but I can't write it like that without completely killing it. It's gotta be more subtle.

Damn it, why can't these boys just come out and say what they mean once in a while!

OK, whine over, more or less. I'm going to close it down for a while and try to chill out with some random TV.

Comments

[ahlai.livejournal.com]

>>Damn it, why can't these boys just come out and say what they mean once in a while!

Aw, but it would be so much less fun if they did. Don't stress it, you'll get there.

[caladria.livejournal.com]

i predict with my magic powers that as soon as you have something else that you NEED to do, right now, your story will untwist and write itself and demand to be written RIGHT NOW.

Until then, do something else. It'll happen when it happens (although, yay for working it out on your own!)

[adina-atl.livejournal.com]

I find when things get subtexty that it helps to just write down the damn dialogue, without even attributions if necessary, and then go back and add in all of the twitches, grimaces, smiles, and whatnot. If necessary, write the DVD commentary as you go, and then go back and take it out when you add in the "business." It's not like you're writing an illuminated manuscript, after all--you're allowed to make several passes.