Same Old Lies
Nov. 22nd, 2011 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dani_the_girlTitle: Same Old Lies
Fandom: Spooks
Notes: Not sure why this is the first thing I've written for ages, but there you go. It's a short missing scene from the end of 7x05. I think it's meaning may be a bit obscure to those who aren't in my head, but you know, writing!
"How did it go?" Lucas asks when she comes back downstairs.
"Fine," she says shortly.
"What did you say to her?" There's a slight edge in his voice, Ros notes. Not precisely tense, but there's something there.
"Same old lie," she tells him, watching his reaction out of the corner of her eye while she sorts out the paperwork left on her desk. "Your pain is special and important; don't let it stop you doing your job."
He snorts softly. "But really, of course, the pain is immaterial, as long as the job gets done."
He hasn't said "her pain", Ros notices. There are shadows under his eyes, but not more than usual. General background level of adjustment difficulties or something more specific going on? Hard to say without more data.
"Pain is important," she replies softly, "just not compared to making sure that thousands or millions of people don't die because of a few bastards."
There's silence between them for a few minutes. She turns away and starts to sort out the emails she's receieved and not answered while being Jennie Hunter, watching Lucas in the reflection of her monitor screen. He pokes at a few pieces of paper on his own desk but can't quite settle to reading them.
"Maybe I should talk to her," he suggests eventually, breaking the silence.
"I don't think so," Ros says briskly. "She needs to believe that it's harder for her, that it doesn't matter that you're handling it so much better than she is." She's amused by the brief flicker of shock followed by studious blankness that flickers across Lucas' face. "You were in a Russian prison for eight years, Lucas. Contrary to media belief, none of us here are stupid."
"No," he agrees after a moment. "I suppose not." He pauses and then adds "It's different in a place like that. You don't feel like you should have been able to avoid it. You just live with it because you don't have a choice."
She shrugs, one shouldered, and runs the shutdown routine on her computer before standing up. "How often do we ever have a choice, doing this job?" she asks. It should feel bitter, she thinks, but it doesn't, it's just a fact. The choices they have are always between pain and destruction and they're here, in this job, fighting this fight, because there's only one of those they can live with. For Jo, the two seem closer together right now, but they'll separate again as the tides of their experiences ebb and flow. She stands up, gathers her handbag and coat, ready to take a break, rest a little before the next surge.
"We just take the orders," Lucas replies. He's not looking at her anymore, but back at the file on his desk. After another pause, he continues "Do you find it hard to decide who to trust? Knowing what we know."
"Knowing what we know?" she echos questioningly.
He looks up at her and she can see his uncertainty. "Knowing how far we would go to get someone's trust."
"Trust Harry," she advises shortly. It's the only thing that makes sense lf the choices she's made.
Fandom: Spooks
Notes: Not sure why this is the first thing I've written for ages, but there you go. It's a short missing scene from the end of 7x05. I think it's meaning may be a bit obscure to those who aren't in my head, but you know, writing!
"How did it go?" Lucas asks when she comes back downstairs.
"Fine," she says shortly.
"What did you say to her?" There's a slight edge in his voice, Ros notes. Not precisely tense, but there's something there.
"Same old lie," she tells him, watching his reaction out of the corner of her eye while she sorts out the paperwork left on her desk. "Your pain is special and important; don't let it stop you doing your job."
He snorts softly. "But really, of course, the pain is immaterial, as long as the job gets done."
He hasn't said "her pain", Ros notices. There are shadows under his eyes, but not more than usual. General background level of adjustment difficulties or something more specific going on? Hard to say without more data.
"Pain is important," she replies softly, "just not compared to making sure that thousands or millions of people don't die because of a few bastards."
There's silence between them for a few minutes. She turns away and starts to sort out the emails she's receieved and not answered while being Jennie Hunter, watching Lucas in the reflection of her monitor screen. He pokes at a few pieces of paper on his own desk but can't quite settle to reading them.
"Maybe I should talk to her," he suggests eventually, breaking the silence.
"I don't think so," Ros says briskly. "She needs to believe that it's harder for her, that it doesn't matter that you're handling it so much better than she is." She's amused by the brief flicker of shock followed by studious blankness that flickers across Lucas' face. "You were in a Russian prison for eight years, Lucas. Contrary to media belief, none of us here are stupid."
"No," he agrees after a moment. "I suppose not." He pauses and then adds "It's different in a place like that. You don't feel like you should have been able to avoid it. You just live with it because you don't have a choice."
She shrugs, one shouldered, and runs the shutdown routine on her computer before standing up. "How often do we ever have a choice, doing this job?" she asks. It should feel bitter, she thinks, but it doesn't, it's just a fact. The choices they have are always between pain and destruction and they're here, in this job, fighting this fight, because there's only one of those they can live with. For Jo, the two seem closer together right now, but they'll separate again as the tides of their experiences ebb and flow. She stands up, gathers her handbag and coat, ready to take a break, rest a little before the next surge.
"We just take the orders," Lucas replies. He's not looking at her anymore, but back at the file on his desk. After another pause, he continues "Do you find it hard to decide who to trust? Knowing what we know."
"Knowing what we know?" she echos questioningly.
He looks up at her and she can see his uncertainty. "Knowing how far we would go to get someone's trust."
"Trust Harry," she advises shortly. It's the only thing that makes sense lf the choices she's made.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-25 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-27 12:22 am (UTC)I am also not a fan of S9 Lucas ATM, I am choosing to not believe in S9, although I haven't decided what to replace it with yet :)
no subject
Date: 2013-06-21 04:31 am (UTC)